


Close to You

by Seito



Category: Young Justice, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: this is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 04:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce had come to a horrible conclusion. His son was beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close to You

_On the day that you were born_

_The angels got together and decided_

_To create a dream come true_

_So they sprinkled moondust in your hair_

_Of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue  
_

Bruce had come to a horrible conclusion.

His son was beautiful.

The recent spike in Dick's kidnappings? They weren't because they wanted a ransom from Bruce Wayne, or because they wanted leverage against Batman. No, it was because his son was beautiful and this was how criminals were trying to woo him. Woo him! While they had a gun to his face!

The extra flowers and gifts that he had been receiving lately? They're actually for Dick. Bruce shuddered at the thought of woman his age or older were targeting his thirteen year old son.

The evidence began with the teammates. Bruce had noted there was increase of odd behavior in the team. Robin had remarked on the way home one day that his teammates were becoming very touchy, feely. A quick check of the security cameras, proved this to be true. It was still on the platonic side, more hugs, tapping on the shoulder, leading by the hand or in Superboy's case following Robin around like a puppy.

Then there was Roy. The damn archer had the nerve to show up one day with a bunch of flowers under Dick's window, singing a goddamn love song. Luckily, Robin was still unconscious from being slammed into the wall by Bane hours earlier. Batman swiftly dealt with Roy. The archer hadn't showed his face since.

The other night, Catwoman had commented on fact that Robin was growing up into one _tasty catnip treat_ causing Bruce to nearly have a heartattack on the rooftop.

The most dangerous one was one Wally West. As Dick's best friend, Wally had the most exposure to Dick. Bruce wasn't quite sure yet if Wally had feelings for Dick but he had a sinking suspicion that the redhead might like his son. Bruce hoped that wasn't the case. It was too late to attempt to separate them. Dick would never hear of it.

Bruce then came to another horrible conclusion.

What happens when Dick likes someone back?

He squashed whatever panic attack he was having. Oh dear god. Bruce never considered what would happen when Dick started to like someone back. Secretly, Bruce hoped, if Dick fell in love it was with one Wally West because that would give Bruce more time to prevent it because Wally hadn't and probably won't any time soon realize his feelings. By the time the speedster would realize it, Bruce reasoned, Dick would at least be in college and Bruce should (marginally) approve of whatever relationship his son got into.

No it wasn't because Bruce had enough blackmail material on both Barry and Wally to use against them that would cause both speedsters to move to another dimension. Nor was it because Bruce didn't want to deal with Martian and Krypotian mating habits or have a criminal as in-law.

_'Note to self start collecting blackmail on EVERYONE.'_

"Hey Bats," Ollie said, walking into the room where the Dark Knight was brooding. "Can you send Robin over this weekend?"

Batman stared at Ollie. Finally he roared, "NO! You can't have him!"

Then he stormed out of the room and towards the Zeta Tube. He collected Robin from his friends and then locked the two of them in the Batcave.

"Bruce? Is there a reason why you locked down the cave in Contingency Plan Z.023 which is only used during the destruction of reality itself?"

"Hush, Dick. You're not leaving this house until I design you a chastity belt."

"WHAT?"


End file.
